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Banning gun shows to reduce violent crime will work about as well as banning auto shows to reduce drunken driving.

More men die of worry than of work, because more men worry than work.

There is no observation more frequently made by such as employ themselves in surveying the conduct of mankind, than that marriage, though the dictate of nature, and the institution of Providence, is yet very often the cause of misery, and that those who enter into that state can seldom forbear to express their repentance, and their envy of those whom either chance or caution hath withheld from it.

If you stand straight Do not fear a crooked shadow.

I have known sorrow and learned to aid the wretched.

To follow, without halt, one aim There's the secret of success.

Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.

I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.

Think about a woman. Doesn't know you're thinking about her. Doesn't care you're thinking about her. Makes you think about her even more.

In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.