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Random Thoughts

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them....

Life is sexually transmitted.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

43.3% of statistics are meaningless!

Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Some days you are the bug

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

You`re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you`re a mile away and you have their shoes...

part of him is underground.

Always remember you`re unique. Just like everyone else...

Always remember you`re unique, just like everyone else.

Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.

He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Help wanted telepathy: you know where to apply

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.