No one is listening until you fart. ...
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
My reality check just bounced.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
When everything`s coming your way, you`re in the wrong lane and driving against
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day...
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Always remember you`re unique, just like everyone else.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire....
Your heart understands what your head cannot yet conceive
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. ...
It`s always darkest before dawn. So if you`re going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper, that`s the time to do it...
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.