Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
Stand on toilet, get high on pot.
You`re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you`re a mile away and you have their shoes...
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.
Squirrel who runs up woman`s leg not find nuts.
A closed mouth gathers no foot....
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Remember half the people you know are below average.
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Hear and you forget
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.