Knock Knock Who's there ! Bingo ! Bingo who ? Bingo'ng to come and see you for ages !
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!
Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur? Sir Lunchalot.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then !
What do you call a pig with three eyes? ...A piiig
The wedding was over, and the reception was in full swing. Dave an usher, was having a great time with other members of the wedding party. His wife, Betty was not. "Don't be to mad at Dave," a friend told her. "He did a terrific job. I'd be glad to have him usher at my wedding." "Yeah," Betty replied, "I wish he had been an usher at mine."
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"
Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !
Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
Q. What's the definition of a quarter tone? A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.
Teacher : Tommy you try my patience ! Tommy: No, teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it !
What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table ? He gets splinters in his mouth !
A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper. She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is. The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."
Knock Knock Who's there ! Badger ! Badger who ? Badger cookies !
Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!
Why men like to fishing so much? They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Headgear Barbie ...guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!